Odubajo opens up on mental health battle after mother's death and injury hell

Moses Odubajo is only 28 but he's already experienced plenty of anguish, both in his personal and professional life.

He has seen his mother tragically pass away when he was just 12-years-old.

He and his two brothers were left to fend for themselves and eventually his eldest sibling ended up in prison.

He's also experienced a potentially career-ending injury, suffered at a time when he was on the cusp of reaching the Premier League.

Ahead of World Mental Health Day, which takes place this Sunday, Odubajo has opened up about his struggles in the hope that it can persuade anyone who feels they are going down a similar route into getting the help that they might be too afraid to ask for.

QPR defender Moses Odubajo spoke about his issues to mark World Mental Health Day this Sunday

The Queens Park Rangers defender took time out earlier this week to speak to R's fan Toby West. He, like Odubajo, has experienced mental health struggles following the death of his younger brother when he was just 11.

Both men spoke openly and honestly about their issues over a Zoom call, organised by Rangers and to which the Mirror was invited to join.

Looking back at when his mental health issues began, Odubajo points to the dislocated kneecap he suffered in July 2016.

He had impressed for Hull City in the Championship and indeed had just helped them seal a return to the top flight after a play-off final win at Wembley.

Moses Odubajo celebrates Hull's promotion to the Premier League - but the play-off final win would prove to be his last game for the Tigers

But the injury would seriously halt Odubajo's trajectory. He would never play for Hull again and was on the sidelines for more than two years, due to numerous setbacks.

Looking back at his lowest points, Odubajo said: "There were cracks in my life. Cracks that I didn't realise I needed to deal with and that I didn't deal with.

"Later on they would become a major, major issue. I had a setback four months down the line from my injury. I was practically two weeks away from returning and playing in the Premier League.

"The setback required another surgery and then things flipped for me. My brain deteriorated in a way where the things that meant so much to me before, they stopped meaning anything.

"I found happiness in different things off the pitch. But it was temporary happiness. I spent money for the sake of it. I had three cars and I couldn't drive any of them!

"That temporary happiness was, I think, to try and fix my deep-rooted issues.

"I didn't respect my partner at all and I avoided family. I needed to find something that would give me the same thrill as walking out on the pitch. I needed an alternative to make up for the thing that I loved.

"There was so much anger and frustration and that made me bottle things up inside.

"I then wanted to find something to give me that happiness. And it might only be for an hour, for two hours, for a night."

Eventually, after a long, long time in rehab, Odubajo returned to playing when he rejoined old club Brentford.

He cites that move as the moment when he realised he needed to confront his issues head-on.

Odubajo says it was when he returned to Brentford that he decided he needed to seek help for his deep-rooted mental health issues

He added: "When I got back to Brentford, I told myself I have to give football my all again. So I sat down with my partner. For two years it wasn't great with us, and she suggested we should go to therapy.

"It's a lot harder than it seems. And I think for the first three sessions I probably wasted everyone's time. I sat there like a closed book.

"Then in the fourth session the therapist asked my partner to leave the room. She asked me about my childhood and that's when I started unravelling pieces to the puzzle, that I didn't realise I had.

"I didn't even realise I was opening up to her."

Odubajo says the sessions proved vital in him being able to move forward, both at work and at home. He says the therapist made him realise the traumatic situation he and his brothers went through was not properly dealt with at the time.

He said: "We were left to fend for ourselves.

"We didn't speak about it. The only thing we knew was just to power through.

Odubajo is now at Championship side QPR

"We thought there's no point crying about it because it's not going to bring her back.

"Now, when I look back to my childhood I see myself as being blessed and am grateful. Whereas before I used to think we did what we had to do and there wasn't a time to dwell on things.

"The therapist told me that it wasn't a healthy way to deal with it.

"Going into those sessions was my comfort area and a release from the world."

Odubajo is now 28 and says he is back to loving football again at QPR. A stint at Sheffield Wednesday preceded his return to the capital, but he had fallen out of favour under Garry Monk and so during the first lockdown he used the period to "reset" himself and try to work his way back into the side.

Moses Odubajo admits he struggled during his time at Sheffield Wednesday

Odubajo added: "The previous manager didn't really like me or think I was a good footballer. That was hard because I was then battling someone's opinion.

"That makes you question yourself as a person. When lockdown happened I used it as a reset and wrote down what I needed to do to make myself the best version I can be."

Toby, 22, also spoke about his issues at length during the video call and concurred with Odubajo that counselling has also been of massive help to him.

Both also admit that football can play its part in breaking down the stigma of talking about mental health issues - especially among young men.

Odubajo, who signed a one-year deal at the Kiyan Prince Foundation Stadium after a successful trial, is clearly in a much better place now.

"It's always a work in progress, even to this day," he admitted.

"But I'm definitely in a better mental space than I was three or four years ago."

* The EFL and its clubs will once again come together with charity partner, Mind, to collectively recognise World Mental Health Day which takes place on Sunday, October 10. Across the week, EFL Clubs will 'Do One Thing' as an act of kindness to someone deserving within their local communities with Mind campaigning that if we all do one thing to fight for mental health, we can change everything.