Indonesia
Nigeria
South Africa

David Stockdale is every bit David Brent as new website is a hit on social media

mirror.co.uk, 20 January 2022, 15:15
Former Fulham and Brighton goalkeeper David Stockdale has shown another side of himself on his website, and you will notice something new every time you look at it

What is the first thing you think of when someone mentions the name of former Premier League goalkeeper David Stockdale?

Is it the time he scored two own goals in the same game to see his Brighton team miss out on the Championship title?

Perhaps it's his final season at Fulham, where he sat on the bench for the memorable 2-2 draw at Old Trafford (or 'the 81 crosses game', as some remember it).

It might even be his status as one of the only men to be called up by both England and 'England C', some seven years apart.

Now, though, it's time to forget everything you thought you knew about David Stockdale, and allow him to reintroduce himself.

The Wycombe Wanderers goalkeeper has a new website, and it's a thing of beauty.

What is your favourite part of David Stockdale's website? Have your say in the comments section

Stockdale's presentation of himself lies somewhere between David Brent and Garth Marenghi, with the upshot being a man who might be described as a "businessman... philanthropist... pundit. Plus athlete".

"You know the goalkeeper - now find out about the personality," the website introduction begins, in a comment which assumes a lot about the average reader's familiarity with second and third tier English football over the last seven-and-a-half years.

"David Stockdale is a brilliant goalkeeper but there is far more to him than just commanding presence and awesome shot-stopping," we are told.

He's a friend first, a commanding presence second. Probably a shot-stopper third.

How is the decision to mention "his classic 1986 Ferrari Mondial" relevant to David Stockdale's business acumen? We're not sure. But then again, we're not the ones with a fancy website full of high-grade professional photographs so we'll bow to his expertise on this one.

Ah, yes, the photos. So many questions. Are all of them about the chessboard? No, but most of them are.

Nothing says "I'm a businessman" like sitting in an armchair with cigars, a globe and a chessboard, but why does he look so confused by all of it? Surely the simple concepts aren't too much for him, so we can only assume the baffled look is because he's not used to seeing his hands without gloves on.

Oh, and why does the first photo have the white pieces facing him, while he's playing as black in the second? Was he just playing back-to-back games during the shoot?

We don't want to be too harsh on Stockdale, given his well-documented philanthropic work. Sure, it's mostly been well-documented on his own website, but the point stands.

"Given his naturally generous nature and previous philanthropic work, David would like to hear about opportunities to become a charity patron," the site implores, painting a picture of Stockdale showing up at charities' head offices like Peter Odemwingie trying to secure a move to QPR.

The coup de grace is still to come, though, with the 36-year-old's "everyman" appeal laid out in full. Not our words, Carol, the words of davidstockdale13.co.uk.

"His distinguished yet everyman character makes him perfect for advertising campaigns for high-end, male-targeted products," the site claims. But wait, there's more...

"But his sensitive side also makes him the ideal candidate to spearhead projects to raise awareness of causes men might usually shy away from - mental health, charity causes and male-specific health issues.

"Surrounded by strong, independent women in his life, David has an unswerving respect for women across the board and would welcome the chance to promote equal-opportunity and diversity campaigns."

Not just respect, but "unswerving" respect. The people have been well and truly won over.

The response on Twitter has been... let's say "enthusiastic".

"Pure Partridge with a bit of Brent thrown into it," was one description, while another fan (Of Stockdale? Of web design? It's not important) asked the very reasonable question "Why is he trying to simultaneously change the time on his watch and stare into the camera?".

However, we'll leave the last word to Stockdale himself. More specifically, Stockdale the pundit.

"As his football career continues to thrive, David is ready to throw himself into other business ventures," the blurb reads.

"Watch this space."

Oh, we will.

Top News

26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Chelsea hotshot Cole Palmer broke a 23-year-old club goalscoring record set by Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink in the Blues' shock 2-1 Premier League defeat to West London derby rivals Fulham at Stamford Bridge. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Julen Lopetegui's West Ham United beat Southampton 1-0 away from home on Thursday afternoon and spoiled Saints manager Ivan Juric's first game in charge of the club. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Nottingham Forest have shot back into third place in the Premier League table thanks to Nuno Espirito Santo masterminding a 1-0 win over former club Tottenham Hotspur. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Andoni Iraola's Champions League hopefuls Bournemouth were held to a 0-0 draw away from home by Crystal Palace on Boxing Day at the Vitality Stadium in the Premier League. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Rodrigo Muniz scored a last-gasp winner as Fulham sensationally came from behind to defeat West London rivals Chelsea 2-1 at Stamford Bridge. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Aiming to arrest their underwhelming Primeira Liga results before Christmas, Estoril Praia and Moreirense clash at Estadio Antonio Coimbra da Mota on Saturday, keen to notch important victories in the gameweek 16 encounter. 26 December 2024 talksport.com Birmingham's Boxing Day clash with Burton had to be temporarily suspended due to a medical emergency at St Andrew's. 26 December 2024 talksport.com Kevin De Bruyne certainly wasn't in the festive spirit after walking down the tunnel immediately after Manchester City were held to a 1-1 draw against Everton. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Jose Mourinho reportedly wants Manchester United forward Marcus Rashford at Fenerbahce, while Paris Saint-Germain will not sign the 27-year-old. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Erling Haaland missed a second-half penalty as Manchester City's Premier League plight continued with a 1-1 draw at home to a dogged Everton unit at the Etihad Stadium. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Primeira Liga title contenders Porto could climb to first place on Saturday when they host relegation-threatened Boavista at Estadio do Dragao in gameweek 16. 26 December 2024 talksport.com Goalkeepers tend to be a little crazy and Jordan Pickford is no different. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Chelsea and Fulham have announced their teams for the West London derby at Stamford Bridge on Boxing Day. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Manchester United are paying increased attention to Atalanta BC midfielder Ederson ahead of a potential summer move to Old Trafford. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Arsenal pair Gabriel Jesus and David Raya could both write new chapters of Gunners history when Mikel Arteta's men host Ipswich Town in Friday's Premier League encounter. 26 December 2024 talksport.com Christmas may have come and gone, but Man City' boss Pep Guardiola - and his players - are hoping for presents in the form of new signings. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Aiming to finish a successful year with a streak of five straight Serie A wins, Inter Milan will visit Cagliari on Saturday, as both sides play their final fixture of 2024. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Arsenal, Tottenham Hotspur and Chelsea are supposedly all prepared to go head-to-head for the services of Club Brugge defender Maxim De Cuyper in the January window. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Liverpool captain Virgil van Dijk says that he loves the club but that the future is uncertain ahead of his side's clash against Leicester City at Anfield on Boxing Day in the Premier League. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Manchester United could supposedly repeat their Chido Obi Martin trick by prising another young talent away from Arsenal in 2025. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Manchester United and Real Madrid have seemingly been handed a significant boost in their hopes of landing AC Milan left-back Theo Hernandez, who is experiencing 'high tension' with head coach Paulo Fonseca. 26 December 2024 talksport.com Man City will attempt to arrest their calamitous slump in form when they face Everton on Boxing Day. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Finishing off their 2024 schedule with a battle at the bottom, Serie A survival rivals Parma and Monza will meet at Stadio Tardini on Saturday. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta will not be 'waving the white flag' in the Premier League title race, but the Spaniard and his squad will look at the top-flight table with "a fair bit of regret". 26 December 2024 talksport.com Man City's under pressure stars slept at the club's training ground on Christmas Day as they look to turn around their worrying form. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Chelsea have reportedly laid out their plan over how to approach for the upcoming January transfer window. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Nottingham Forest will be bidding to end a 29-year run when they play host to Tottenham Hotspur on Boxing Day. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Manchester United will have the chance to sign Victor Osimhen in January in a deal with Napoli that would see one of Rasmus Hojlund, Joshua Zirkzee or Marcus Rashford head in the opposite direction. 26 December 2024 talksport.com Chelsea will always be busy in a transfer window - it's a tale as old as time. 26 December 2024 sportsmole.co.uk Both beaten by Serie A title contenders just before Christmas, Empoli and Genoa will meet for their final fixture of 2024 on Saturday afternoon.